Vblog - Protocol & Etiquette in Between China and the US

Japanese agricultural ministry’s decision to send food experts to Los Angeles

As world we’re confused. Sometimes I’m amused by how purity and innovation play themselves out in the culinary world, in particular. Americans enjoy “Chinese food” that one could never find in China. Chinese put potato chips on the menu as desert and happily serve their clientele food that no one would call desert in the west. And hey, confusion sells, and purity so last-century . . . but still I wonder where all this culinary relativism is taking us.

Fortunately Japan is not taking this lying down. I was particularly amused recently by the story of the Japanese agricultural ministry’s decision to send food experts to Los Angeles to more than 500 places serving Japanese cuisine to assess the authenticity of what they serve. This is rich. Set aside the Japanese prime minister’s recent unfortunate attempts to dodge the authenticity of the Comfort Women issue, comparing forced prostitution to a cafeteria service. Japan needs to protect its culinary IP, just as Hollywood doesn’t want pirated copies of Scarface selling for a buck-a-pop, in Beijing.

In my opinion, Japan should revel in the fact that it is so difficult to find “authentic” Sushi outside of Japan. Why send the foodie police after the far-flung bento-box lunch sets of the world? Relax. You can’t get sushi as good as what you get in Japan anywhere else, period. Japan’s already elevated by the reality of cheap imitation. But people want the “tradition” preserved. That may be a fine impulse. But why should anyone stop anyone else from innovating with a tradition. Food traditions are not meant to be held fast in time. They are meant to be built upon.

Imagine if Florentine pizza makers coming to Brooklyn to cite the violations by kinsmen pizza makers, let alone those of thousands of Greek or Mexican pizzerias. It’s all untenable. Its all wonderful. Its all so confused. I’m glad we have both traditionalists and pioneers when it comes to food. That’s exactly how I like my music.

Encouraging the “civilized spiting” from Chinese government to push the 2008 Olympic Etiquette Campaign

Like placing French fries on the desert menu and adding ice and juice into wine, here is another fascinating and disappointing example of China etiquette issues for us all to consider.

Apparently, Beijing has now placed blue porcelain spittoons along one of the capital’s main thoroughfares.

“These spittoons have a decorative function for the street and in the meanwhile, provide a convenient place for people to spit” A reporter named Wang Hong said.

The blue porcelain spittoon story is one of the government’s civilizing efforts, much like their effort to distribute millions of paper spit bags to encourage the “civilized spiting” from Chinese government to push the 2008 Olympic Etiquette Campaign.

The Chinese government’s response to spitting highlights one of many cultural differences between East and West: in China, the problem is not spitting per se, but where to spit.

“It is unhealthy to swallow spit,” one of the Olympic Etiquette advocates says, “so we need to help people spit in a civilized way.”

One has to wonder if there is such thing as “civilized spitting.” Imagine a picture like this – on every street of Beijing, there are some beautiful blue porcelain spittoons and people stick out their neck spitting in them with that big “hock” sound. Does this will help Beijing to shape up the public etiquette image in the eyes of the world?

I am afraid the answer is “No”. How come the related government officials did not simply ask how their Western counterparts or other Chinese societies i.e. Hong Kong and Singapore have had dealt with spitting issue in order to learn from them? Had Chinese officials realized they were making the motherland look like a relic from the early 19th century of the Unite States?

At that time, spittoons became a very common feature of many places, including saloons, hotels, stores, banks, railway carriages, and other places where people (especially adult men) gathered.

"America is one long expectoration." -- Oscar Wilde on his first visit to the United States, 1882

  Use of spittoons in the US was considered an advance of public manners and health, intended to replace previously common spitting on floors, streets, and sidewalks. Many places passed laws against spitting in public other than into a spittoon. After the 1918 flu epidemic, both hygiene and etiquette advocates began to disparage public use of the spittoon, and use began to decline. While it was still not unusual to see spittoons in some public places in parts the US as late as the 1930s, vast numbers of old brass spittoons met their ends in the scrap drives of World War II.  (A

Chicago

courtroom scene, mid 1910s. A spittoon is seen on the floor at bottom right).

Let’s take a look at how spittoons became big in China. Starting from 1949, spittoons were placed at every conceivable public place, and were commonplace in homes as well in China. The mass introduction of spittoons was a public hygiene initiative, motivated by a desire to correct the once common Chinese practice of spitting onto the floor. They were typically made of white porcelain, sometimes with traditional Chinese art painted onto the exterior.

Spittoons were even used during official functions by the political leaders of China; this eventually became a source of ridicule by the mass media outside China. As a response, the spittoons have largely been withdrawn from public spaces in China since the late 1980s.

Deng Xiaoping, who opened up China to the world and was famous for keeping a spittoon handy. Imagine if, Hu Jun Tao had one with him at foreign guest functions to spit at-will. Is there any difference between an ordinary citizen and Hu Jun Tao as it concerns public etiquette? No. Then why should the public continue to be provided with spittoons? Why is spitting still promoted?

It’s not about where to spit. It’s about spitting at all. If the citizens of other countries can refrain from spitting in public places, why shouldn’t we Chinese be able to comprehend similar boundaries? And why is it that the Chinese people in Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan, and Macao have been able to adapt their behavior away from spitting while only the mainland Chinese remain wedded to this custom?  (The picture on the left was taken by Vida at Hong Kong Immigration Office in Wan Cai).

Placing the blue porcelain spittoons on the street is not the solution for spitting! If China copies its western counterparts in this matter, there won’t be any patent right issues to worry about. I would propose Chinese government follow Singapore to make spitting in public an unlawful action, therefore, the offenders will be fined.

“Welcome to China, spit as much as you want. We have the world biggest spittoon for you right on the street in our capital.” Said Lu-Chin, Founder of the Pride Institute, ironically. Spittoons have no place in this new “Pacific Century”, other than as a functional tool at dentist’s office or, artifacts in museums or curio shops.

We

Recently I was back in Beijing. It’s always exhilarating to bounce around Beijing with a fresh perspective. Reconnecting with my network it seemed as though opportunity were everywhere, with each person I engaged.

My second morning there I had brunch with a gentleman whom I’d known years before. He is a seasoned European businessman whose been doing work in China since 1989. We were laughing about old times and trading notes on friends, when he mentioned something that caught my ear.

“Sometimes living here is odd. I mean at times one can get down about all the corruption and craziness and then, other times, I just sit back and laugh and say: “that’s China. You can’t take it all too seriously. Many people do take it way too serious. You have to treat it like a movie. Otherwise it can drive you crazy.”

The crazy thing is . . . I could never treat it like a movie. Here is this person who has spent more of the last fifteen years than me in China. But to make it all work, he tunes-out, like a tired salary-man at the end of day, switching-off the world around him with a remote control. China for him is like reaity TV.

Unfortunately for me, as I suppose it is for many of you, China can never be a reality TV show. It is simply, reality. I can’t help but tune-in and there is no way to filter what I live, when I am back in my homeland. My European friend could see people fighting in the street and all he could do was observe. Here they go, those crazy Chinese. They’re tearing themselves apart. Fade back if it gets too crazy.

There is no “they” for me when I am back in Beijing. It is “we.” We can be sad. And we is inescapable. We can never be passive. I can’t watch we on TV. I live we with everyone around me. Everyone looks to me as if I am part of we.

I remember a famous song of the late 1960’s. The name of the song was “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” and the singer, Gil Scott Heron was making fun of not only rich, white America, but phony Black radicals for their tendency to tune-out on all around them. The message, as the song title suggests, is that when real change comes, it will not be possible to tune-out. The final line of the song, answers the challenge posed in the title: “The revolution will not be televised . . . because the revolution brothers, will be live.”

It has often been said that China’s has been in revolution for the last 150 years and this may well be so. But when I return to our industrial revolution, our modern revolution, our unfinished egalitarian revolution, it is always live. It is always immediate and painful and inescapable. It is always we.

Do you sell etiquette watches?

(This blog is also published at CAEA -Chinese American Etiquette Association blog site.)

I was caught off guard when a gentleman asked me this question recently. I was at a social gathering in the SF Bay Area and trying to explain what the CAEA – Chinese American Etiquette Association is all about.

“Etiquette? What is etiquette?” He asked.
I translated the word of “etiquette” into Chinese after I failed in my first attempt to explain it in English.

“Ahh, I see. You sell gift items and provide Miss Etiquette (an equivalent of Miss China) to people who may have a restaurant grand openings.” He said with his head nodding.

“Do you sell etiquette watches? I need one for my daughter’s graduation.” He added..

Sadly, many of my mainland Chinese peers living in Silicon Valley, have the same mind set. The word etiquette conjures associations with beauty contests and cheap trinkets. Well, how can I blame their naiveté? This is what my nation promotes at large. The Ministry of Culture is behind the nation-wide competition: “China Etiquette Culture Competition” our mainland version of Miss America. As always, we still have a long way to go.

I am just wondering how the international community would comment on this “China Etiquette Culture Competition.” I suppose it is a fascinating point of discussion onto itself. During the Cultural Revolution, women like Liu Shao Qi’s wife were attacked for wearing “rocket shoes” with pointed toes, or necklaces and the like. Today, the “China Etiquette Culture Competition” could be seen as a form of progress. But to me it a grinding reminder of how far we have to go.

My question is how much this mind set is going to be changed as China emerges as an economic powerhouse? The 2008 Olympic has injected a big motivation for Chinese government calling for a “Manners Movement” with $2.5 million in funding for an etiquette campaign in Beijing. Despite the Movement’s purpose of saving global face, it is a step in the right direction.

“Manners Movement” will, to some extent, improve a basic etiquette understanding i.e. no spitting, no littering, no more slurping of soup, no coughing, belching or passing gas at the table etc. This all get my vote! This can certainly be improved among the general public in China. But incorporating a set of etiquette rules into one’s daily living and internalizing the etiquette value with one’s life has its own challenges in China.

Comparing those who can enjoy a free etiquette education in China, many of our Chinese fellows in the US have been left out and hanging around somewhere in between China and the US with no one to turn to for an etiquette guidance. As a result, they lack of a basic understanding of what etiquette is. This might be very true in the Chinese engineering community in the Silicon Valley.

Of course, there are some exceptional people out there in the community. Just two days ago, I struck up a conversation about etiquette with Max Hwang, who works at Baynote, at the Huayuan event of “The Art of Peak Performance in Public Speaking”.

“That’s really important part of self development.” Max said after I explained what CAEA stood for CAEA.

“I am just curious, how did you learn about this etiquette concept?” I asked.

“My CEO is really into it. He incorporates etiquette value into our company culture. As a matter of fact, I am here today attending the event because of him. He said I should come and it’s worthwhile.” Max said.

It turned out Max’s CEO is Jack Jia at Baynote. And Jack is currently the President of Huayuan. I’ve attended at least two events where Jack was a keynote speaker and was very impressed by his articulation for his version and leadership. He definitely stands out as someone who is very polished in giving a public speech and poses the leadership skills and mind set in the community.

I am curious to see how Jack would inject the etiquette culture and value into Huyuan. Under his leadership, I’ll definitely receive fewer questions about “etiquette watches.”

My ex-husband also shot someone while he was bird hunting

Sometimes a news story can bring something back in a flash.  It was 1984 and my ex- husband was out in the Chinese countryside hunting for the fun of it, just like the Vice President.  In my ex-husband’s case however, there was no quick, convenient solution.  He was punished.  The apology alone was not sufficient.  A college student at the time, he of course wasn’t responsible for any public statement like Dick Cheney.  For me, the difference in how they were treated is illustrative of how Americans learn protocol.

The scenarios were remarkably similar.  Like the Vice President my ex was bird hunting with a bunch of his friends and accidentally shot a 17 year old boy.  This boy went to hospital, had an operation and he was OK.  He lived a fine, healthy life afterwards.  But my ex-husband had to confront the consequence of his action –

1.      He was sent to a jail for 56 days, where he was sentenced to hard labor. 

2.      Lost his right to gain a Bachelors Degree Certificate.  This even though he was a top student in his class.

3.      He was sent to a remote school to be a teacher, while all his classmates took positions in big city colleges and universities.

4.      His family paid all the medical bills for the victim.

He was punished for what he did.

Is it right to shoot someone, even accidentally?  No.

Is it wrong to shoot someone?  Yes.  Period.

Must there be consequences for the things we do - of course.  This is what every mother would tell their children “you are responsible and accountable for what you do and you must think before you act.”  Without any consequences, our actions can become lawless.

My ex - husband still lives in China.  I talked to him recently about the incident:

“That accident and all that I had to go through made me think.  It was horrible at the time, but it forced me to grow up and I definitely became a better person for it.”

For him the incident pushed him to confront himself.  In the case of Dick Cheney, the incident pushed him to confront the media.  Underlings handled the press while his “story” could be assembled.  One gets the strong feeling that Cheney had no personal consequences and therefore no personal learning or growth, as a result of his action. 

Watching it all unfold I was stunned by the reaction from the American public.  The general public accepted Cheney’s statement on Fox News.  How can Americans be so forgiving?  At least Cheney should pay the victim’s medical bill.  The insurance company shouldn’t take on someone’s accountability caused by such a flagrantly inappropriate action.  Writ large it is an indictment of the American society.  The top of the building isn’t straight and the whole construction is crooked.  We live in a nation of people who can avoid responsibility through the convenience of insurance.  As a result we are all infantilized.  We don’t grow.