Vblog - Protocol & Etiquette in Between China and the US

The Welcoming Remarks at Vincent's Private Dinner

I was very privileged to be a co-MC (Master of Ceremony) at the private cocktail/dinner event for Mr. Vincent Lo, Chairman and CEO of Shui On Group.  Many of the guests offered their great complements to the welcoming remarks which Mr. Tommy Li from Shui On and I had worked out together.  I’d like to share this with every one here in the hope that it will inspire each of us to participate in preserving and building the Chinese civilization with an innovative and entrepreneurial spirit in today’s global economy.

Tommy: Ladies and Gentleman, distinguished guests, it is my pleasure to welcome you this evening to a remarkable event.  My name is Tommy Li.

Vida:  My name is Vida Zhang Fargis.  It’s my pleasure to be here tonight.  Looking out I am glad to see so many familiar faces.  Those of us who live in the Bay Area are so privileged to have an abundance of events at our disposal, testifying to the emergence of Chinese civilization.  Every week there are events from countless of groups focused on this or that aspect or that of China's great modernization. 

Tommy: But I must tell you veterans of Silicon Valley community that tonight is distinct.  Why? 

Vida:  Tonight we have a chance to consider China's modernization in stark contrast.  Tonight we have, if I may, a tale of two cities.  In that I'm not referring to the London or the Paris of Charles Dickens and the 19th century.  I'd like for us, to consider two cities at the heart of the 21st century, Shanghai, and Beijing.  Two cities. 

Tommy: Like many of you, I have lived in both.  They are both fundamental touchstones of the Chinese civilization.   They are international reference points that we all share, irrespective of nationality.

Vida: I met my husband in the prior and I conceived my second child in the latter.  Beijing

is China’s cultural epicenter.  I last lived there in the year 2000, in a refurbished hutong near Jiaodaokou.  A few blocks from our home was the timeless, misty home of courtesouns and court officials from centuries gone by . . . Houhai.  I'm sure many of you have enjoyed a quiet walk around Houhai and Qianhai and marveled at its ability to evoke.  While I was there it was still, somehow preserved. Today . . . Houhai today is, I'm afraid, something very different.  It’s different from what I remembered.  It’s different from what I would expect to see.  One of the premier culture heritage sites our nations’ capital is disappeared.  What you see there today is a collection of noisy bars, flash lights and blatant immodesty.   Heritage disappearing ….

Tommy: Meanwhile, in Dickensian terms, across the Channel, there is another city in modern China.  Like any city worth its name, it is far from perfect.  Shanghai has issues, blights and challenges that could fill a library.  However, there is in that city a marvelous manifestation of modernization, with class.  Emergence with distinction.  Development with dignity.  Shanghai Xin Tian Di, is, as I'm sure any of you who have visited the neighborhood would attest, a marvel of modernization.  Shangahi Xintiandi is a place where East meets West, Old meets New, Tradition meets Inspiration and Culture meets Excitement.  Here is a way forward, which honors the past.  Here is integration where one plus one really is three, or four!  Here is something to aspire to.

Vida: Tonight we welcome Mr. Vincent Lo and Shui On Land, the developer of Shnaghai Xintiandi, who have spear-headed one of the most remarkable contributions to the Chinese Renaissance that I can identify.  Fortunately Vincent and Shui On are ambitious.  Fortunately they do not choose to rest on their laurels.  Fortunately they are leading a new project of even greater ambition now in Shanghai, KIC – Knowledge & Innovation Community.

Tommy: KIC is inspired by the technological innovation and entrepreneurial spirit of Silicon Valley in the United States and the cultural ambience found in the Left Bank of Paris.  Many successful Chinese professionals who work in Silicon Valley have grown accustomed to a life of sophisticated internationalism.  They are sensitive about scarifying this life style when they consider returning to life in mainland China.  Tonight, is significant, because, our hosts introduce to us all this evening, a vision for true intellectual internationalism in mainland China.  KIC is the manifestation of the Silicon Valley vision in Shanghai – Connecting Shang Hai & Silicon Valley! 

Vida: Each of us here tonight are very fortunate to consider Shui On Land’s latest effort on KIC, not only for our own business and personal possibilities, of which there are no doubt many.  But please, pause for a second and join me in welcoming a representative of Chinese civilization who has done more than most to steward development with dignity and integration with the West that teaches at the same time in learns.  Join me in welcoming Mr. Vincent Lo.  

End.

Where do you floss your teeth?

“In the bathroom, of course.”  Said my American friend.

“What is the difference between flossing your teeth and using a toothpick to clean your teeth?”  I asked.

“The motion is different.  One is stretching the string back and forth like a saw and the other is to poke the stuff from between your teeth little by little.” My friend said with a twisting gesture.

“Right.  And what’s the purpose behind both these motions?” I asked.

‘To clean your teeth after a meal, of course.” He said.

“OK, great, would you floss your teeth at a dinner table?” I said.

“No, that’s a bathroom thing.” He said.

‘Then why you use a toothpick at a restaurant?” I asked. 

“Every one does it here in China.  That’s Chinese etiquette.” He said.

Hmmm.  So what’s your interpretation of this story?  Here is what I would say:

If you believe the purpose of using floss as well as the purpose of using a toothpick is, in both cases, to clean your teeth, then you should do them in private.  No one wants to see you taking stuff from your mouth and laying it on the edge of your plate.  You are polluting the setting and ruining a wonderful meal for others. 

Yes, there are many people using toothpicks in restaurants in China, even some top business executives.  Would you say this is Chinese etiquette or a bad old habit like spitting in public?  I pick the latter.  It is a pity for any foreigners to think that using the toothpicks is part of Chinese culture and etiquette and pick stuff from their mouths in front other people.  When you ask if they would do it in their home country, the answer would be “No”.  The reason foreigners do it in China is because they see Chinese people doing it and think that it is part of the local culture.

This is the pitfall of learning and adopting a foreign culture – assuming that you’re fine if you follow the locals. The local Chinese culture is evolving and changing in today’s international, internet age.  What was considered part of Chinese culture may be completely irrelevant in a modern context.  Blindly aping behavior from locals is actually a reflection of ignorance of the real local culture and its fluid progression.

So, my dear American friend, if you don’t floss in front of people, then don’t use toothpicks at any restaurant, even if the toothpicks are packaged beautifully in an embroidered Chinese lady’s shoe as shown below.